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How to meet someone in chat Chatrooms--been there, done that? Then you weren't properly prepped! Learn the fine art of chatting. Chatrooms are a great place to make initial contacts and hone your flirtation skills. Not only do chatrooms contain a vast pool of potential friends, and perhaps lovers, but you don't have to dress up and pass visual inspection to go there. And the anonymity of the chatroom means that if you flub in your own eyes, you never have to face the same person again. You can change your handle or log-on nickname, and go back and try it again. This is not a license to be obnoxious, but it does give you plenty of room to practice making friends with strangers. Here are some suggestions and tips to help you have more fun, feel more at home, and meet more people in chatrooms. 1. Start with a "good" chatroom. 2. Pick an attention-getting name that expresses your gender and says something about yourself. If you are a man, stay away from anything sexually suggestive because it may cause women to avoid you. If you are a woman, stay away from anything overtly sexual because it may cause men to overwhelm you with inappropriate sexual attention. Flirty and cute are good, but choosing crude or suggestive names will be self-defeating in most chatrooms. 3. When you enter the chatroom, identify yourself and greet the people just as though you stepped into a real room. For example, type in, "Hi, I'm BridgeJumper." 4. Hang out for a while, and catch the drift of the conversation. When comments are made that catch your attention, make a reciprocal comment of your own. Look at the "handles" of the people in the chatroom. Select one that sounds intriguing, and addressing him or her by name, make a friendly, mild-mannered comment, or ask an open-ended question. For example: "BadMoon: how did it feel when your bungee-cord snapped and you hit the water?" You'll see, just about any inoffensive remark will draw a response of some kind, which will lead to more responses, and can eventually turn into a short chitchat. 5. Make yourself familiar with technical chatroom features, emoticons, and nonverbal signals with ThirdAge's Guide to Chat and Email Shorthand and Online Lingo Quiz. You will find it a lot easier to sidle up to someone and say "Hi, I noticed what you said about golden retrievers." Make sure you know how to send private messages and invite someone to a private room. The instructions appear once you log into ThirdAge chat. Pointers for Keeping the Conversation Flowing 1. Remember that the goal in a chatroom is to make initial introductions and light conversation. Don't expect to plumb the mysteries of the universe, or interrogate acquaintances on their most personal life experiences. Think of it as an online cocktail party. Pleasant chitchat is an invaluable first step in most relationships, and you can practice that to your heart's content in a chatroom. 2. Type in complete but short sentences, and push "enter" frequently. Remember there is a time lag in chatrooms and you need to give time for your comments to appear on the screen. 3. Practice keeping banter going by asking easy-to-answer questions within the drift of the conversation. If there isn't much conversation, you can always ask where everyone is from, or what they do for a living, or what bridge they like to jump from. If you are in a topic-specific chatroom, however, try to stick to the topic. Eventually, you'll strike up a longer sidebar conversation with someone in particular, and you can move beyond the chatroom to sending flirty email to a new acquaintance. 4. Suppose you make a total fool of yourself? I don't know how that could happen, probably a figment of your imagination, but get yourself another anonymous handle and come back in and try again. Or, go to another room. One thing is guaranteed: a half-dozen efforts will teach you to use chatrooms for the initial introductions and casual fun they're intended to be.